The candidacy process has been interesting thus far. A year and a half after first bringing it up to my DS, here are my thoughts.

First off, my sense of call is strong and has developed over a long period of time. Because I’ve worked through a lot of soul searching previously, the candidacy process isn’t the big revelation time that I think others expect it to be. I’m not wrestling with whether I’m called to serve, though I do wrestle with how that call will be lived out in the future. At this point in my process my mindset is more about the execution of seminary work than crossing all the t’s and dotting all the i’s of candidacy – as a part-timer in seminary I have a lot of time left in the process.

The reception from my DS and my pastor to my intention to begin this process was very good. These two persons know me pretty well, and I believe that they gave me, and continue to give me, honest support. I appreciate this. My guide through the Ministry Inquiry Process was top notch and my candidacy mentor is a source of support through highs and lows.

DCOM has been more difficult. I’m a second career candidate with 15 years in the corporate world and a third of this time in leadership, so committees generally don’t make me nervous. These DCOM folks make me nervous. I haven’t put my finger on exactly why, but I have a few ideas. (1) I don’t know the majority of them, and I expect all but a couple don’t know me. I get the feeling that I’m the object of a take-a-number, you-have-to-be-this-high-to-ride-this-ride surprisingly impersonal assembly line process where the one on one experiences (mentors and others) have been very personal. Could be misperceptions on my part, though other seminarians also describe awkward (or painful) COM experiences. (2) They are gatekeepers in a process where I distinctly feel God guiding me personally. Didn’t they get God’s memo that I’m OK (ha ha)? (3) My discernment process regarding elder or deacon track – when I mentioned deacon the temperature went down in the room a few degrees. I get the distinct feeling that some persons with whom I’ve interacted thus far prefer elder track folks with strong Meyers-Briggs “F” characteristics. More on this later. I will figure out how to make connections with them as we walk together and as I learn from them and as they learn about me.

Seminary has been a good experience thus far. My studies are limited by my night and weekend track, but it is not the time in my personal life to approach seminary (and candidacy) in any more aggressive way. My call “happened to” my family and it is a balancing act to figure out the best way to proceed. The first year was loaded with Biblical studies work, an area in which I have a lot of interest. This was not by design, but came together due to the opportunity to go to Israel. I have no regrets; next year I pick up pastoral care and other study areas next year.

I look forward to what’s next.