Whither Lay Ministry?

About 2-1/2 years ago, the West Ohio Conference Lay Ministry Academy class of 2007 held its next to last weekend session prior to "graduating." I think back in a bittersweet way on those times at the Procter Center (near Midway, OH). About 20 of us started the program in class 3, which began a few years earlier as a lay leadership training series and was, theoretically, to become the basis of the certified lay minister "position" put into the Discipline in 2004. A few folks dropped out for personal reasons. A least one person found that the scope of the training was not the best fit for their personal faith journey. All of us who finished got to the end of the 2-year process and said, now what?

All of us felt a call to be more intentionally part of the United Methodist Church in a more formal way. For some, the call was to a particular ministry or project. For one, the LMA experience led him to pursue a local pastor license. LMA became for me the discernment time that culminated in coming to MTSO. Clear to me was that all of us in LMA wanted to be used in some way by the church for the glory of God and the good of God's people.

I fully intended to pursue certification back then, although the West Ohio Conference had no idea what certification would mean and what they would do with us. The final version of certification requirements came out after we finished, so in order to set ourselves up for certification the class members of 2005, 2006 and 2007 who wanted to pursue certification attended a make-up class on polity and completed our classroom requirements. I did so, even though my plans were changing for a variety of reasons. I told my friends at this session that I was entering seminary.

The politics of the certified lay minister designation soured me, for a time, on the Conference's perception of lay leadership. They supported LMA on the surface; I saw little genuine desire to tap this potential resource. George Howard was an exception. He was, and perhaps still is, a proponent of the program. Clergy, however, seem to just wish such an idea would go away. I remember one meeting (place and function withheld) where persons in authority discussed local use of certified lay ministry and the final statement was, "we're not going to appoint these people." The Discipline says that lay ministers can be appointed by the DS within a district. I had already declared my intent to serve eventually as an elder or deacon and had declared that I was not pursuing CLM standing, so I bit my tongue. CLM is meant to be a partner in team ministry under the supervision of the pastor in charge and the DS, so I didn't (and still don't) see a problem with using my friends from LMA if they get certified.

I had some folks ask me why I couldn't get certified and pursue my MDiv. No real reason other than, in their infinite wisdom, the Conference said a CLM must also be a lay speaker. Being a lay speaker wasn't a requirement when I entered LMA and after exploring this requirement, I decided it wasn't worth pursuing. After all, "we aren't going to appoint these people" anyway. God had called me in other directions, so I went where God called.

I feel for the Conference staff and District staffs who have had to wrestle with lay ministry. After all, General Conference created the "position" and didn't give any guidelines for years. CLM seems to be, intentionally or not, set up to conflict with Lay Speaking.

Without knowing exactly what was possible, those of us in the program pondered the what ifs of lay ministry and dreamed of how we might serve. I wonder how many of the approx 70 people who entered the first 3 classes of LMA were disappointed to find that they had dreamed things that just were not going to come to pass.

I could be wrong on this, but, to my knowledge, nobody has been certified as a CLM in West Ohio. Rather than whither? the operative word seems to be wither.

I wonder if other conferences have done any better? I hope so.

As I mentioned a while ago, I have had quite the wrestling match with that whole D vs. E thing -- deacon vs. elder track. I've decided a couple times! I'm almost good at it! In all seriousness, I was told this is a problem area for many candidates.

I’ve been told over the years that thinking types aren’t good at pastoral care, that introverted types aren’t ideal for local church ministry, and that my strengths are in teaching, scholarship, and reformer roles. I’m an INTJ personality type with lots of years in the corporate world, so I am fully aware of the work that an I and a NT must do to be successful in social situations. I think that those with the innate ability to be social butterflies have a leg up in the elder track expectation and evaluation process, but that those who are stronger in other areas certainly can grow into the role. Several of the best pastors I know are NT folks, and they take care of the flock, so to speak, very well thank-you-very-much.

The clergy contains a lot of high F folks, a good thing I admit, though thus far I have not perceived that F folks are as keen on T folks as they are on more F folks coming down the pike. In my personal walk, I have some very T and very practical reasons for moving with slow deliberation through the seminary process. God waited a bunch of years for me to get to this point and a little longer in the process won’t hurt, I think. I feel that God doesn’t mind as long as I am moving in the right direction and not looking for opportunities to hide or run away. To a high F person, such deliberation can be seen as a lack of zeal -- why aren’t you on fire to quit your job and trust God to keep y’all in Kraft dinner?

God gave me talent and opportunity in the engineering world and I expect that God doesn’t mind me using this to full advantage for as long as I can. The church will still be there, though I also don’t want to be ridiculous with dragging it out.

The ministry needs both T and F folks, and none of us who want to be successful in ministry are ever all T or all F. God help us if we let someone through the process who has no ability to walk on the other side of their natural tendency to one or the other.

Now I’ve described some experiences I’ve had that make no sense from a T perspective. I’ve accepted them without much rationalization -- except maybe last time. I’m not sure rationalization helped me. The core of that experience was an acceptance that I bring my gifts and graces to the deacon vs. elder question and we’ll figure it out. I jumped to a decision, which is fine given the lack of imminent need to do anything with the decision, but I also began talking about it right away (so much for introversion). I might have protested too much, as the Bard of Avon says. After talking with more people and by letting a phrase said to me about my candidacy process (“don’t waver”) percolate over the past month, I’ve opened the door again to the possibility of elder track. I’ve made myself be aware of where I allow the F side to have sway (minority sway, but not in the extreme). I have noticed how I’ve reacted to events, articles, situations, and (as spectator) prayer concerns from the church where I am a member in interesting and unexpected ways.

I may be INTJ, but I think that maybe, just maybe, there’s room for an INTJ who is both cognizant of and open-hearted about the world and God’s people in the world. I need to explore the feeling/caring side of ministry in a more intentional way to assist me in discernment, and I hope to find the right ways to do this.

The deacon track is a noble and worthy cause, and I may go this way yet. I also may find in further reflection, mentoring and experiences that I am called to the “other” path in the UM world (ha ha). The important thing is to figure out where God needs me to be.

I’d like to particularly hear from T folks who have reconciled the T and F aspects of ministry. If you don’t want to comment publicly, please email me directly.

davidfirth1@mac.com

The candidacy process has been interesting thus far. A year and a half after first bringing it up to my DS, here are my thoughts.

First off, my sense of call is strong and has developed over a long period of time. Because I’ve worked through a lot of soul searching previously, the candidacy process isn’t the big revelation time that I think others expect it to be. I’m not wrestling with whether I’m called to serve, though I do wrestle with how that call will be lived out in the future. At this point in my process my mindset is more about the execution of seminary work than crossing all the t’s and dotting all the i’s of candidacy – as a part-timer in seminary I have a lot of time left in the process.

The reception from my DS and my pastor to my intention to begin this process was very good. These two persons know me pretty well, and I believe that they gave me, and continue to give me, honest support. I appreciate this. My guide through the Ministry Inquiry Process was top notch and my candidacy mentor is a source of support through highs and lows.

DCOM has been more difficult. I’m a second career candidate with 15 years in the corporate world and a third of this time in leadership, so committees generally don’t make me nervous. These DCOM folks make me nervous. I haven’t put my finger on exactly why, but I have a few ideas. (1) I don’t know the majority of them, and I expect all but a couple don’t know me. I get the feeling that I’m the object of a take-a-number, you-have-to-be-this-high-to-ride-this-ride surprisingly impersonal assembly line process where the one on one experiences (mentors and others) have been very personal. Could be misperceptions on my part, though other seminarians also describe awkward (or painful) COM experiences. (2) They are gatekeepers in a process where I distinctly feel God guiding me personally. Didn’t they get God’s memo that I’m OK (ha ha)? (3) My discernment process regarding elder or deacon track – when I mentioned deacon the temperature went down in the room a few degrees. I get the distinct feeling that some persons with whom I’ve interacted thus far prefer elder track folks with strong Meyers-Briggs “F” characteristics. More on this later. I will figure out how to make connections with them as we walk together and as I learn from them and as they learn about me.

Seminary has been a good experience thus far. My studies are limited by my night and weekend track, but it is not the time in my personal life to approach seminary (and candidacy) in any more aggressive way. My call “happened to” my family and it is a balancing act to figure out the best way to proceed. The first year was loaded with Biblical studies work, an area in which I have a lot of interest. This was not by design, but came together due to the opportunity to go to Israel. I have no regrets; next year I pick up pastoral care and other study areas next year.

I look forward to what’s next.

Experiencing God 3

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I've been told that introverted folks tend to experience God during times of deep reflection, and my experiences back up this claim. I don't know how deep reflection can be and still drive down the road, but my latest God moment occurred at 45 mph on a curvy back road.

A year ago I thought that I had it all figured out (won't be the last time, I am certain). I was going to pursue candidacy as a Deacon and build upon my past education and work experiences to serve God's people and God's church in some yet to be revealed way. As I got closer to my first meeting with DCOM I spent considerable effort looking at Deacon and Elder paths and came to a decision (in consultation with a few others) about a week before the meeting. When asked if I had one or the other path in mind I answered Elder. I firmly believe that the faith community is central to Christian experience, and believed that I had discovered the people, the “who,” from my God experience a year or so before. I was going to work toward parish ministry and serve the church in a traditional manner at some future point.

For the past year each time I have answered the same question from someone I have had more trouble answering it the same way. This difficulty is not general. My perception of call is as strong or stronger than when I began this journey (praise God), and my desire to serve the United Methodist Church is also strong (God help me). It is my perception of the right vocational path for me and the best fit of me for the glory of God and the benefit of God's people that is in question.

After a couple weeks of this issue being on my mind heavily, after a good session with my mentor (this issue was not specifically raised but our topic helped me greatly), and listening to some appointed folks tell me about their normal pastoral duties, I was running things through my mind while driving. And, as God will do, my God moment came in an unexpected place at an unexpected time. I perceived that my thoughts were not just my thoughts. I was thinking that I was right the first time and that the path of an Elder is not the best fit. Each time I raised a point/idea/thought in my mind, the response was immediate and gentle: “my people need you.” This was the phrase I heard in the night a few years ago. This cycle continued a few times. The same response each time: “my people need you.” Then, letting go of control of the situation, of past statements, of others' expressed expectations, of trying to be the decider of my path, I thought something on the lines of “so I can just bring my gifts and graces to the table and we'll figure it out?” Submission. The response was strange and wonderful. It was unspoken. It was felt. All I can say is that the presence that I was experiencing moved, and it was like experiencing the joy energy that is a smile from another. The heightened energy came from outside of me, enveloped me, and left. I was alone again in the car, doing 45 mph. The whole thing, end to end, was probably only seconds, but it felt longer.

I don't pretend to understand the experiences that I have had, and I do not claim to know why God wants me, an analytical-artsy-intellectual-progressive-INTJ-former-engineer, but I am firmly convinced that God has something for me to do and that this something requires the commitment of time, energy and resources that I am putting into a Methodist Theological School in Ohio M.Div. and the pursuit of candidacy. Today my mind is at peace, and that peace comes with a feeling that my initial perception of my vocational path, as a Deacon, was most likely correct. I will explore this further in the near future.